somewhere in between

as the number of days i have left in malawi is decreasing, i am finding it harder and harder to write blog entries simply because i don't want to leave, but also because i feel like i have written so much about my experience here that it is hard to find something new to write about.

today was a great day for camp. the weather was beautiful, and everything pretty much went according to plan. as a part of the third and last day of every camp, each class puts on a presentation for the entire school, the teachers, and any community members that show up. sometimes they will perform a drama, but more often than not, they will sing a song. it's really great because these kids have amazing voices and are filled with talent. and singing and dancing is such an instrumental part of the malawian culture, and when they do so, the sing with unspeakable joy.

after we came back, a few of us went to the vendor market which is about a 10 minute walk from our home here. the vender market has...everything. clothes, shoes, food, jewelery, toothpaste, belts, accessories; you name it, they have it. when we were walking through the makeshift stands that were tightly packed, many of the venders were ecstatic that white people (plus 1 asian) were walking through and they were trying so hard to sell us stuff, as they shoved their merchandise in our faces.

i wonder more and more the impression that we as white people (plus 1 asian) give off when we walk through the streets. it's so clear that malawians see us and assume our pockets are full with kwacha (malawian currency) and want to spend it. i think it's kind of sad that americans are portrayed as materialistic rich people. especially because i have never met more sincere and earnest people in my life while working with the students in my team. it is definitely hard to think about coming from america, the hodgepodge of nationalities, and working in a country that is mainly one nationality.

many vendors have bad images of americans because we like to eye shop their goods only and never actually buy anything. and i don't want to be seen as someone who is solely here to help, because i don't want to give off any impression that we are better than they are. what is even more frustrating is that i don't know what we can do to further a neutral, if not positive image of us.